Professor Hilbert
I think the next step is to determine conclusively if
you're in a comedy or a tragedy. To quote Italo Calvino,
"The ultimate meaning to which all stories refer has two faces:
the continuity of life, the inevitability of death."
Harold
{pause}
What?
Professor Hilbert
Tragedy you die.
Comedy you get hitched.
Harold
(facetiously)
Oh. Great.
Professor Hilbert
What's wrong?
Harold
I haven't even been on a date in three years.
Professor Hilbert
Well... most comic heroes fall in love with people who are introduced
after the story has begun, usually people who hate the hero initially,
although I can't imagine anyone hating you.
Harold
Professor Hilbert. I'm an auditor. Nobody likes me.
Professor Hilbert
Not dislikes you. Hates you.
Loathes the very core of you.
Anybody like that?
{Harold thinks}
Detests you.
Harold
There's somebody who I just met
who I know really really doesn't like me.
Professor Hilbert
Well, that sounds like a comedy...
try to develop that plot.
Harold
How?
Professor Hilbert
There's no real approach.
Harold
(facetiously)
Oh. Great.
Professor Hilbert
What's wrong?
Harold
I haven't even been on a date in three years.
Professor Hilbert
Well... most comic heroes fall in love with people who are introduced
after the story has begun, usually people who hate the hero initially,
although I can't imagine anyone hating you.
Harold
Professor Hilbert. I'm an auditor. Nobody likes me.
Professor Hilbert
Not dislikes you. Hates you.
Loathes the very core of you.
Anybody like that?
{Harold thinks}
Detests you.
Harold
There's somebody who I just met
who I know really really doesn't like me.
Professor Hilbert
Well, that sounds like a comedy...
try to develop that plot.
Harold
How?
Professor Hilbert
There's no real approach.
After this, Harold decides to write down everything that happens to him, classifying it either as comedy or tragedy.
Everyone should try this. I think I should. No preconceptions, just a scientific approach.
I'll try and I'll let you know.